


I Don't Care How I Have You, So Long As I Do

by Exalaria



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Choking (Mild), Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Passionate Sex, Quadrant Confusion, Quadrant Vacillation, Rough Sex, dirty talk (mild)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exalaria/pseuds/Exalaria
Summary: Some days he speaks softly and touches you as if you’re the most precious creature in the world, other days he’s passionate and warm, and yet others he’s pissy and spiteful and constantly egging you on. You see all of these things for what they are, but you are so, so confused.Just where do you stand with Karkat Vantas?





	I Don't Care How I Have You, So Long As I Do

You scowl in frustration, sighing and tugging your headphones down off of your head to rest around your neck. You’ve been trying, and failing, to mix for hours, but no matter what you do you just can’t get the tune to come out right, can’t get the beat to sync up. It’s frustrating, and you think that if you have to look at your turntables for another second you might just smash them.

Well, no, you would never do that, but God damn you’re irritated.

Setting them and your headphones aside for the time being, you instead shove your hands in your pockets and leave your room, heading down the hall. The halls of the meteor never stop being cold, lifeless, and dull, even after three damn years of living in them.

As you wander aimlessly, you let your thoughts drift.

For a few minutes you think about Rose, about how she’s been unusually ‘preoccupied’ as of late. You’re not stupid. You know that she’s been getting it on with Kanaya at literally every opportunity. You never really call her out on it, but it’s fun to taunt her and tease her in your sly, Strider-style way.

Hell, you can’t blame her. If you had that option, you’d probably be doing the same if only to kill the mind numbing boredom you usually have to deal with. Though, secretly, you would love to have someone to share that kind of experience with.

Well, you have Karkat, but your relationship with him is … complicated.

You learned all about the weird troll romance system from Rose and Kanaya back when you first started having feelings for the feisty little dude, and ever since you’ve been keeping a watchful eye on Karkat, looking for signs as to what the Hell kind of relationship you even have. From what the girls told you, it’s supposed to be very obvious what kind of advance a troll is trying to make, but Karkat is all fucking over the place.

Some days he speaks softly and touches you as if you’re the most precious creature in the world, other days he’s passionate and warm, and yet others he’s pissy and spiteful and constantly egging you on. You see all of these things for what they are, but you are so, so confused.

Just where do you stand with Karkat Vantas?

You know by now he’s got some kind of attraction to you, but Hell if you can tell what quadrant he’s aiming for. When you complained to your ecto-sis, she and Kanaya just shared a look and laughed and suggested you just ask him.

You are not about to do that. Nope. No thanks. Bye. That train has left the station and you aren’t on board. You’re not on your way to Awkward Conversations Ville with Karkat.

So instead you just endure the fucked up roller coaster that is your weird relationship-non-relationship with your favorite troll. He seems to know that something’s ‘there’ between the two of you-- and Hell, both of you know at this point and you’re just not saying anything about it-- because he’s never been afraid to be a little on the touchy-feely side.

He’ll hold your hand on good days, growl and shove you on bad days in a way that’s probably a little more heated and aggressive than it needs to be, but he’s never made a move. He’s never kissed you, which after a long, long time of deliberation-- months, literally-- is something you decided you definitely want, and the two of you have most certainly never ‘gotten it on’ like Rose and Kanaya so obviously-not-obviously do.

It’s with these thoughts in mind that you find yourself standing outside the door to Karkat’s room. You don’t bother knocking or giving any hint of your arrival, instead just stepping right in like you own the place--

And you really, really wish you had knocked first.

You’ve never seen a troll naked, but you sure as Hell can say you have now.

Karkat’s lying on his back on his bed-- when did he get a bed? Last time you were in here there wasn’t a Goddamn bed-- completely naked, and his hands down between his legs. From this angle you can’t see everything, but you definitely see his bright red bulge in one of his hands-- holy shit, trolls seriously have a god damn tentacle-dick, what the fuck, why doesn’t that repulse you, what the fuuuck-- and the other hand’s got two fingers buried knuckle-deep in his nook-- holy shit you always forget trolls are hermaphrodites, why, holy shit, oh God, you want in on that so bad, oh God.

Your eyes are literally glued to the scene before you. You can’t move. He hasn’t noticed you, but you’re willing to bet that that’s because of the headphones over his ears. What is he listening to? Porn? You highly doubt it’s porn; where the Hell would he get it? The non-existent internet? No. But if it’s not something sexy, what is it?

You don’t think about whatever he’s listening to for very long, not when after a few seconds he lets out this long, breathy sound that’s somewhere between a growl and a moan. It’s a sound that goes through you in a hurry, rushing southwards. Oh God, you are so unbelievably turned on by this display.

Wait. You should really probably take off before he realizes you’re standing here. Fuck, you need to leave. He’ll kill you, literally gut you if he catches you standing here watching him masturbate. But … Ugh, God it’s so hot.

Your heart is racing, blood pounding in your ears, your pants have a visible tent to them that you shift awkwardly to try to hide-- not that it’ll do you much good-- and your fingers twitch at your sides. Your mouth feels dry but at the same time you feel like you’re drooling.

Wow.

Just wow.

You could watch this for hours.

And then, just like that, Karkat’s eyes crack open and he finally notices you standing there. He completely freezes up, and you do too, and the two of you are just staring at each other. Shit, he’s so going to kill you. Yep, this is where you die. Let it be known that Dave Strider was slaughtered for watching his best-bro-kind-of-boyfriend jerk off.

After a long, tense silence, Karkat takes his hand off his bulge to lift it and pull his headphones down, apparently not even caring that there’s sticky, red material getting all over it. His other hand, however, is still buried in his nook, although unmoving.

When the headphones come down to rest around neck, you hear what he’s listening to.

He’s listening to one of the beats you showed him a while back. He’s lying there masturbating to your music that you know is good, but damn. Should you consider this a compliment? Probably.

But fuck if that doesn’t just make you more turned on.

Karkat licks his lips, his expression unreadable, and then he opens his mouth to speak. “Didn’t anybody ever fucking teach you to knock?”

It’s so stupid. It’s such a lame thing to say, but you can see irritation creeping across his features past the pleasure still lingering in his system. Somewhere, deep down, you know where this is going to go if you don’t split, and fast. But you don’t, in fact, split. Even if this is probably going down a very black road, you can’t walk away from this.

The mood shifts before you can even respond. You feel it like lead dropping.

Suddenly, Karkat looks very much like a predator eyeing down his prey. The prey is you. You are the prey. You take a step back, not having any intent on leaving but fuck you sideways because if you don’t move you feel like you might combust under the intensity of his glare.

That movement is enough to spring the troll into action.

In hardly ten seconds, he’s launched himself off of his bed, darted over to you, grabbed you by the throat and slammed you back against the wall. The action makes your head spin for a moment, and when you refocus, your first thought is that Karkat’s hand is around your throat, his warm genetic material effectively slathered across your skin there.

Oh fuuuuuck, that’s hot. It’s all you can do not to groan like a moron.

He’s right in your field of vision, leaning close and practically towering over you even though you’re a bit taller than him. His lip is curled up like an angry canine, and he growls as he leans impossibly close, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath against your ear.

“How long were you standing there, Strider?” He asks, his voice a rumbling growl that makes his words sound funny. You’re not sure if he’s asking you because he’s angry, curious, or trying to seduce you.

You still answer without missing a beat. “Long enough.” Good, you’re still coherent enough for proper, witty responses.

His grip on your throat tightens enough to almost constrict your airflow. “Like what you see?” He purrs, and you know now that he’s purposely trying to taunt you. He’s trying to goad you into fighting back like a proper pitch partner would.

And you are so fucking game for this. Like, if there was any one game you would actually play as a willing participant, it’s this one.

With his cheek more or less pressed against yours, you duck your head forward and bite his ear. Hard. He jerks back with a snarl, apparently stunned by your sudden assault. He’s not quite regained his bearings when you find your feet, so you throw your entire body at him in a tackle that sends the both of you to the floor.

For several moments, you wrestle with him, the both of you trying to pin the other down. You misjudged Karkat’s strength, though-- little dude’s like a fucking brick wall-- and after a brief tussle you find yourself on your back, Karkat sitting on your belly, leaned over you as he pins your wrists to the floor beside your head.

“You humans are so pathetic.” The troll above you hisses. You pretend to be looking up at him behind your shades, but you’re actually more interested in your new viewpoint of his oddly enticing tentacle-bulge-thing. It’s twisting around a bit, seemingly moving on its own. Even with your mind filled with curiosity-- you really want to touch it-- you manage to find your words for a response.

“How do you know I didn’t just let you pin me?” You retort with a little, smug grin. “Maybe I like being held down.” You do. You really fucking do. “Maybe you should slap me and call me your little bitch, because that’s basically what I am right now, dude.”

The way his bulge writhes momentarily at your words and how you feel his entire lower body tense briefly is so very satisfying. So, he’s into dirty talk? You latch onto that immediately, because shit you could really use that to your benefit. “Maybe you should tear my clothes off, make me as naked as you. Just dig them nice, sharp claws of yours into my shoulders and rip my shirt right off-”

You’re cut off with a strangled gasp when Karkat does just that. He releases your wrists to instead snag his claws on the collar of your shirt and tug downwards, literally ripping right through the shirt.

Good thing Godtier clothes can be regenerated.

The way he did it, though, was just hard enough to leave long, stinging lines down your chest. It burns in the best way. Holy fuck, you had no idea you were into this kind of thing. One of Karkat’s hands finds your throat again, and this time he does squeeze hard enough that you can’t breathe.

Part of you knows you should be terrified at the loss of such an ability, but you realize even in this moment that you _trust_ Karkat. You trust that he won’t really hurt you. Your head gets fuzzy and you start to lose focus, but before you can get too delirious, Karkat releases you and you suck in a breath of air.

“Holy shit, dude.” You breathe, lifting your head when your vision centers in order to look down at Karkat. He’s staring at your dick, standing firm and attentive, in a mixture of fascination, confusion, and curiosity-- wait, when the fuck did you lose your pants? Probably while you were out of it and delirious. Damn, Karkat’s got skill.

He mumbles something under his breath that you don’t catch, but before you can question him about it, he grabs your arm and hauls you to your feet. You’re unsteady, but that’s fine since he drags you over to his bed. Good, you don’t want to fuck on the floor either.

That _is_ what’s going on here, right?

When you reach the bed, you expect him to throw you down, but instead you’re left confused when he crawls onto the sheets before you, lays down on his back, spreads his legs, and looks at you expectantly. What the fuck?

“Well?” He says when you don’t move. “Fucking Hell, Strider, do I need to hold your hand through this?”

You’re staring at him, sprawled out like that, and you’d be more confused if you weren’t just so aroused at the knowledge that he’s basically lying there asking to be brutally fucked. “What?” You croak, and it comes out so stupid that you would cringe if that wouldn’t make it worse. “Dude, no, I’m a big boy. I can navigate these waters. I’m a fuckin’ master sailor, man, you’ll see. Gonna ride these waves so expertly that--”

Karkat _snarls_. “Shut the fuck up and get over here!” He hisses.

You comply, crawling onto the bed and resting on your knees between his legs. You look at him, noting how dark his face is, and you realize that it’s probably killing him to submit to you like this. But … you don’t get it. Why did he go from dominating the shit out of you to submitting so suddenly?

“Dude, what gives?” you decide to ask. “Not that I’m not down for this-- like seriously dude I am _so_ down, don’t get me wrong-- but not three minutes ago you looked about ready to wreck me.”

He gives you this flat, incredulous look, and when he speaks it sounds like every word is meant to mock you. “Since you humans have weird as fuck sexual organs and seem to only have one or the other, I couldn’t help but notice that you _don’t_ have a nook. So like any logical, intelligent being I figured that we’re most compatible _this_ way.”

You raise a brow. “Uh, Karkat, bro, two guys can fuck. It happens all the time.” He gives you a flat poker face, like he thinks you’re messing with him, but doesn’t say anything, so you continue.

“You see, when one dude loves another dude--” Wow, you can’t believe you’re having this conversation. But you stop there because you realize that explaining anal to Karkat right now might just kill the mood entirely. So you just shake your head. “Nevermind. I’ll tell you later.”

He looks ready to argue for a second, but then clearly thinks better of it. “Does that mean we can get the fuck on with this?” He growls, adding, “because I was _really_ fucking close before you came in here and fucking ruined that and I would just _love_ to get back to that point.”

You feel your face heat up but pretend it doesn’t. “Uh, yeah. Sure, dude. Now let me just ...” you trail off as you reach for his tentadick, because you still really want to touch the damn thing. But Karkat stops you by sitting up some to grab your wrist.

“Let me just make one thing clear,” he says, narrowing his eyes into a glare, “you might be in a position of power here but _I_ am the one calling the shots.”

Holy fuck, he’s so sexy when he’s being commanding and domineering like that. You swallow the sound that tries to make its way unwarranted up your throat and nod. “I’m your bitch, not the other way around, got it.”

He nods, satisfied with your words, and releases you to rest back on his elbows.

You let your hand move for your target again. Part of you wants to just skip all the foreplay and get right to the main event-- Your dick is literally throbbing and you need to give it attention soon or you’re going to go crazy-- but fuck that; you want to play around and explore this part of Karkat first.

His eyes follow your hand the entire way, as if he’s partially worried you’re going to touch him wrong, but the moment your fingers come into contact with his writhing length, his eyes roll up a bit and he groans quietly, his entire upper half collapsing back to the bed.

You flash him a sly grin, regardless of the fact that he doesn’t see, letting your fingers curl around his bulge. It’s incredibly warm to the touch, slimy and slick and nothing like you’ve ever seen before. You don’t need to say anything; you just let your hand move the same way as if you were jerking yourself off-- not that you do that often, but still.

“Agh, fuck, Strider-” He starts to say, but you cut him off. Fuck that, if this is happening, you want him to call you by your name at the very least.

“Call me Dave.” You state. He lifts his head enough to glare at you, and you remember that you’re not supposed to make demands, so you try for a sweet, innocent, pleading smile. “Please?” 

He bites his tongue and snarls mostly to himself before shaking his head. “Fine, _Dave_.” He mutters.

You give him an honest smile and go back to stroking his bulge, exploring it. It wraps loosely around your fingers every time you move, and you’re positive now that Karkat has very little control of this thing. He’s so busy moaning quietly-- which is a glorious sound, holy shit-- that you doubt he’d have the capacity for it anyway.

You use your free hand to run up and down his legs, nails digging in every now and then, and then you remember his other weird thing-- his nook, right, that’s what he calls it. Using your free hand, you let your fingers find it and, deciding to be bold, you let one slowly dip inside.

Karkat’s back arches up off the bed a bit. “Jesus fuck,” he breathes, moaning loudly. “Gah, fuck, Str- Dave, stop touching me and just- Mnnnn!” You don’t let him continue, instead curling your finger inside of him and moving it in a thrusting motion.

He’s getting impatient, maybe he’s even getting close. You don’t want him to come before you get a chance to actually be inside of him, though, because you’re not sure if he’d make you stop afterwards without getting anything for yourself, so you give in and take your hands off of him, instead shifting closer and lifting his hips a bit.

“Finally.” He breathes, but you don’t think you were meant to hear that.

He’s so obviously trying to seem uneager-- but he’s very much ready to get on to the main event-- that you can’t help but be an absolute tease, entering him as slow as possible when you do. He’s so fucking hot around you that it almost feels like you’re putting your dick into an oven, but it feels great and you can’t stop a moan as you seat yourself in him.

You lift your eyes over your shades, glancing at Karkat to gauge how he’s holding up, and you notice that he’s got his hands fisted in the sheets, a tense look on his face. Worry makes you go as still as a statue. Shit, are you hurting him?

“Karkat? You okay?” You ask.

He cracks his eyes open after a moment, bright red irises hard to see because of just how fucking blown his pupils are. “Mmnnn.” He breathes in response, and yeah, okay, he sounds pained.

You move to immediately pull out but apparently Karkat sensed that you were going to, because he hooks his legs around your hips and holds you where you are. “Don’t you fucking dare!” he snarls.

“Dude, if I’m hurting you-”

“You’re not. Shut up.” You shut up, just giving him this anxious scowl as you watch him. After a minute, the tension drains from him and he relaxes again, letting out a breath. “You feel so fucking weird.” He comments.

You raise a brow at him, not entirely sure how to take that, but he’s still got his legs locked around you so obviously he doesn’t want you taking off. “Bad weird?”

“What? No, fuck you--”

“Doing that.”

“I will fucking smack you.” Ah, there, good, the fire seems to have returned to him. He squirms a bit. “Does it even move?”

You snort out a laugh. “Nah, dude, I gotta do that.”

“What?” He looks so confused.

You show him what you mean by sharply bucking your hips. He’d been about to say something, but he just cuts off as his breath hitches and his eyes go wide.

“Too much?” you ask, because honestly you would stop immediately if he wanted you to, but no sooner does it come out of your mouth does he respond.

“Fuck, do that again.”

Oh. Okay, good. Good, he seems to get the process now.

Deciding to be kind to him and take pity on him, you start up a relaxed pace, nothing too serious. Honestly you’re just worried you’ll hurt him, which is a weird fucking thought considering just a short time ago you wanted to ravage him. Damn it, you really gotta sort out your relationship with him. Later, though. Later.

Karkat’s head tips back and he doesn’t seem to have any reservations about moaning like he means it. He’s obviously not worried about coming across as submissive and vulnerable anymore, which is hugely reassuring because it means it’s not just you who suddenly wants this to be more than a heated, violent mess.

You stop only long enough to shift your position, leaning over him somewhat. The moment you start to move again, Karkat lets out this absolutely pitiful fucking whine and his eyes flutter open just enough to see you. He stares at you for just a moment before his arms lift and he lurches forward somewhat, wrapping around your neck and tugging you down.

You hold yourself up with your hands on either side of him, but you don’t even get your bearing about yourself before he’s kissing you. He’s _kissing_ you, and it’s everything you always thought it would be. His lips are soft against yours, and you find that it’s hard to focus on moving your hips when you just want to sink into the kiss and absolutely drown in it.

Apparently the sudden inconsistency of your thrusting is just what Karkat needed though, because after not even a minute he moans loud against your lips and his entire body rocks with you. You know that he’s coming, and the way his inner walls tense around you and the feeling of his genetic material getting all over your stomach and legs tips you over as well.

You can’t be absolutely sure just what happens in that timeframe where you feel like you’re floating in bliss. It’s so good, so warm, so … everything you honestly didn’t realize you wanted it to be. You definitely choke on a sob as your emotions run rampant and you think to yourself about how much you fucking love this troll. Black or red or pale, you love his stupid fucking ass and you don’t care how you would have him so long as you _do_ have him.

When you come to your senses, you find that you’ve collapsed on top of the troll beneath you, whose heart you can feel is still beating strong and fast in his chest, and you’ve got your face buried in his neck. Thank God you falling on him also made you slip out of him because you don’t want to move for the foreseeable future.

He smells good, you think as you bask in the afterglow of sex and press small, lazy kisses to his neck and jaw. It might be totally uncool to be so sappy, but fuck it. You can let the mask drop for five seconds, long enough to just enjoy Karkat’s presence. After a moment of your affections, you feel Karkat’s hand come to rest on your head, his fingers combing through your hair and idly playing with it. It feels really, really good.

For a few minutes, there’s no other sound in the room except for the two of you breathing softly. Eventually, Karkat’s heart eases into a normal beat, his hand stilling on your head, and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep. But when you lift your head to look at him, you find that he’s just staring at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes, eyes that flick down to meet yours.

You stare at each other, and it isn’t beyond your understanding that if you weren’t so emotionally and physically worn out you would be tense and awkward and nervous. He looks just as beat as you, because he just closes his eyes and relaxes back into the pillows.

“Fuck you, Dave.” He says quietly, but there’s no bite at all to his words.

“We just did that.” You reply with a tired grin.

Apparently he’s not in the mood to scoff at you like he normally would, because he just sighs through his nose. You realize that you’re going to talk about this a split second before he speaks. “It’s so fucking hard to want you in just any one quadrant.”

You shift a little, sliding down his chest just enough that you can fold your arms over him and rest your head on them. “Why does it matter?” you ask. “I mean, shit, I’m pretty sure in the last hour and a half alone we cycled through every Goddamn square there is, and we’ve been bouncing all over the place the past few months anyway.”

He scoffs softly but doesn’t deny your claim. “You’re not a troll. You don’t understand.” He tells you, but you shake your head even if he’s not looking at you.

“Man, fuck society’s rules.” you say. “There’s literally, what, five trolls left in existence? Who the hell says you have to even follow the old social norms anymore?”

You expect him to fight you on that, but he goes unusually quiet. For a long, long moment, neither of you say anything. You’re just starting to worry that you upset him when he finally sighs. “I guess that’s true,” he says.

“Seriously, Karkat, c’mon, look at me.” You wait until he lifts his head to meet your gaze, a small scowl on his face, before you tell him, “I don’t think we need to be in any quadrant at all. Why can’t we just be together whatever way makes us happy?”

He stares at you like he’s considering your words. You wait anxiously as he thinks, and you smile a little when you see him visibly relax, when you see a look of content reach his eyes, as if he’s decided that you’re right. He grabs you and pulls you up to him, kissing you tenderly.

“Fuck you for being perfect.” He mutters when he breaks the kiss.

“We just did that,” you repeat your earlier statement, earning a light cuff over the head for your terrible joke. You just laugh and roll off of your troll boyfriend-- wow, he really is your boyfriend for real now, isn’t he?-- to instead lay down beside him so you can wrap your arms around him and latch onto him like a koala.

Karkat shoves at your chest. “Ugh, Dave, come on, we’re both a mess. We’re at least showering and changing the damn sheets before we cuddle.”

You refuse to let him go, but after several minutes of his complaints you give in and allow him to carry you like a princess to the bathroom.

Yeah, you think the two of you are going to be just fine.


End file.
